Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Hope 2012: A Blog Relay

I've been passed the baton to write about Hope. This project originated here and I received the baton from the amazing JennyJ at  Two Itchy Feet.

I was instantly struck by this for a couple of reasons: 1) I love relays 2) "Hope 2012" has been my personal mantra since February.  Ironic, eh?

Since I mentioned my story recently in a post, then received this, maybe that means it is time to tell it. 

My world came crashing down Saturday February 18th. The day started off as most of my Saturdays do did - at running club. After a 15.5 mile run I met two girlfriends for lunch. After lunch I headed over to my place of employment to switch cars with my then boyfriend. He knew I was going to be doing this. And that's when I saw them. Sitting in a car talking. That easily and that quickly, the life I had known was over. 

I can't even put into words the shock I felt. To be betrayed by the person I loved and thought loved me, the person I shared my home with, was quite simply the worst pain I had ever felt.

The first few weeks are a blur. I managed to go to work, but that took everything I had. I was a zombie. I wasn't ready to talk about it. I couldn't tell my family. 

At this point I had a choice to make. To have hope or to not have hope. I chose to believe in Hope. To remind myself of this, I wrote Hope 2012 in inconspicuous places that I would see multiple times throughout the day (yes, it's nerdy, I know!).

This penny sits on my desk - a visual reminder that 2012 is a hopeful year.

Since this is mostly a running blog, I have to tie in the running part, right? 

Runners will understand that those you run with know you in a way that others do not. When I missed a triathlon I was registered for on February 19th, my running partner knew something was very wrong. It took me a few weeks to be able to get together with her and tell her what had happened. 

A few weeks after that she told me there was someone she wanted me to meet. I was skeptical, and knew I wasn't ready at first, but by the time she had talked to him and exchanged our information for us I felt more ready.

Now, almost 5 months later, I have more hope than I knew was humanly possible. I look forward to the future more than ever. 

It's not just The Boyfriend that has given me hope, although he is amazingly perfect for me. In  the depths of my despair, I found strength in myself that I was unaware I had. My faith was reignited. My friendships were strengthened. I emerged with Hope.

You might not have to know despair to ever have hope, but I do believe it makes you appreciate it that much more. 

Now I'd like to hand off the baton to my amazing sister Jen and my talented Aunt Julie. Of course if anyone else out there wants to join in on the fun, the more the merrier!

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful and perfect. Thank you so much for sharing! Virtual, trans-Atlantic hugs to you!!!!